The Job

Alice tried another question. "What sort of people live about here?"
"In THAT direction," the Cat said, waving its right paw round, "lives a Hatter: And in THAT direction," waving the other paw, "lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad."
"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

Lewis Carroll
Alice in Wonderland


Each day that goes by, I find such new and interesting ways in which my new residency program is dysfunctional and broken. Of course it all starts with the people who've somehow ended up working there and as I'm well aware, I am one of them. But in this installment, I'll tell you about another coworker who is just one of the most amusing people with whom I've ever shared a job. I'll call her NF for No Filter. I used to think I said random nonsensical things without a hint of self-awareness. NF just takes it to a whole new level. She has a little boy, just over a year old, and just the very mention of his name brings such joy to her eyes. For some reason, almost every day, without fail, she will tell you about his poo. Just today she was telling me about him making poo, how it smells like roses, and how every #2 the kid makes is a precious, precious gift to be held like gold dust with the aroma of morning coffee. Then she went into a ramble about how much she loved cleaning the kid's bits and pieces. Apparently she finds her son's wedding tackle just so adorable and before long she was telling me about how yucky she finds the naughty bits on girls. It's a tirade I've heard before but only from flaming gay men, not so much from thirty-something-year-old mothers. And while I think NF is sort of a nice looking lady, it's hard to imagine how she ever figured out how to get pregnant. She's just the kind of person who wears old-lady sweaters and sensible shoes no matter the context, I imagine her more as the kind of person who would end up with a dozen cats before she ever ended up married and parenting. That being said, I enjoy her company tremendously and in the very near future, I hope to craft more and better stories about the crazy things she says and does.